Sacrifice for my love
by Ruby-dream
Summary: Five years have passed. Hiei and Kurama broke up. In a mission which three world are in danger, one must be sacrificed. Yaoi!HK. What would Kurama choose between Hiei and his mother happiness? discontinued
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: YYH is not mine for forever, OK? I don't want to write  
this on every chapter (sigh) as it makes me as I don't own  
anything.  
  
A/N: Hello again! Thanks for everyone who waited for this story! I  
would try to update my other story to soon. If you review, I'll update  
even sooner. (hehe.grinned ^-^). I got a headache when I tried to  
decide the title of this story. I am not good on making title and  
summary.  
  
I tried to learn on putting some moral in my stories. Hehe. I have  
wanted to write Yukina's POV. Finally I did it. I wished I could write  
the ways of Yukina's thought perfectly. I am not Yukina, thus I am just  
trying to think like her. Please review for this attempt!  
  
By Irisgem  
  
The weather was still cold. It was rainy season. But it meant the spring would greet in no time. On the January, the great heaps of cold fluffy snowflakes had melt into water and made the way more slippery. Soon the cherry trees would bloom. And everything would continue naturally. Then the warmth lovely season would change the color. The little cute pink woods wilted and changed the color into the bright purple of Iris. The wisteria blossom would come after the cherry died.  
  
Every lovebird would rejoice and made out the last time of the moody weather. All the families would gather for sharing their happiness. And there was no exception for the Forbidden Child.  
  
Within the wintry sunrays, the black blur tapped his feet on the white ground. The temple was covered by the snowfall and everything was in white. His favorite pine tree was also blanketed by the cold snow. But nothing was to be worried. Soon the pink season would enter every life of Ningenkai. As he flitted down, the doves flied through the blue sky. The angelic birds left the siblings to have their time. The beauty lullaby echoed and absorbed by the snow. The Ice maiden sang with a happy tune.  
  
~~~~~Yukina's POV~~~~~~~  
  
I saw the flying birds, which surrounded me to listen my song just now. He had come and he greeted me.  
  
"Hello, Yukina."  
  
Didn't he know that a simply word from him could make me happy? He didn't speak much for his antisocial habit.  
  
" Ah, Good Morning, Hiei-san. I don't know you're here. Please come in. Everyone has waited." I welcomed him politely. I knew there was something more than affinity of comrades between us, but still.I conceal everything within me. I was waiting for his statement. I wanted him to admit it when he was ready. I didn't know his fear but I could hold my patience longer.  
  
I glanced the adolescence.he had grown up a bit. He was taller but still shorter than Kurama-san. Within 5 years, he had changed physically and mentally. His bristled long raven hair, his height and his nature. He was harsher back then. He used another softer vocabulary lately. I would like to thank him for gave my brother happiness.  
  
" Hiei, You run too fast! " I could smell the rose scent. I looked at the front gate of Genkai-sama's temple. He seemed on struggle to take his breath. No wonder. If you just saw the uncountable stairs in front of your eyes and you couldn't know your final destination was, it would be a frustrating thing and consumed your energy twice more than it needed.  
  
However, somehow Kurama-kun could manage to calm himself quickly. He was a strong fox spirit after all. I've seen with my own eyes the power of his. I couldn't believe there was such a power within his beauty. When he was in the battlefield, he was no longer the "kind and polite" Kurama-kun I knew, especially his other half. His golden eyes were in ice and vicious. The cruelty and insult expressed clearly on his face. When I saw him, I began to shake and shiver to my spine. But it did not happen to my only twin brother. He just took Kurama-kun's two personalities as it was nothing. I thought that he relied on Kurama-kun as an ally on the battle, no matter who he was.  
  
Kurama-kun's beauty could be compared with me. He had a beautiful face and nature ( as a human ). He was as pretty as the women. His long crimson silky hair, which met his waist, made him looked more feminine. He mostly was very kind and meticulous. He was the most perfect partner of life for my gone brother. I hoped Hiei-kun was now happy.  
  
My brother left me and walked into the temple.  
  
" You have been weaker in Ningenkai, Kurama." He mocked but there was a small hint of a smile.  
  
" I'm not! " He pouted on my dearly brother half-heartedly. I chuckled on their ways of showing their affection. Maybe they understood each other too deep.  
  
" Yukina? " Kurama-kun's gentle voice snapped me out from my private world.  
  
" Oh, umm.I'm sorry. I just a little bit drowned on my thought earlier. " I replied him without any fail to give my best smile. His worried face was replaced with the cheerful one. He opened the wooden Japanese door and let me in first.  
  
" Please." I gazed on him, thanked him secretly without words. He looked more beautiful lately I admitted. He usually put his fake smile, not wanted to dishearten anyone. But he perhaps felt in grief for his debt on his mother. No one realized his pain better than himself, I thought. Kurama-kun was actually a bit passive to reveal his feeling. He locked everything inside him, before love stood on his way.  
  
Hiei-kun seemed expressing his feeling to me more clearly then before, as well as Kurama-kun. Kazuma-kun told me that women would look prettier when they fell in love. No exception for boys, either. Boys would look more handsome under the same circumstance. I thought I started to believe on what he meant.  
  
I allowed myself to fit in the room. We sometimes met on Genkai's temple to gather as friends. This was just another simply friendships meeting, without any task from Reikai.  
  
" Yo! Kurama! Finally you come. We have waited for dying hours! " No one realized the death glare of my brother on Yusuke-kun. I could translate it as a "Then- I'll- send-you-to-death." I didn't sure the meaning, but I thought the meaning was near with my brother meant.  
  
Four years ago, Hiei onii-san allowed him self to make any excuse for not joining us. But since then, Kurama-kun started to ask him and drag him along. Then my fire brother fitted him self and got used of this little party. Sometimes I saw him growled under his breath, but still accomplished what his partner asked. He was really a nice person, ne?  
  
When I searched for my other soul, I drowned on my imagination.  
  
How was my brother? How would he act? Did he hate me? Would he remember of me? What he was doing? How was his life?  
  
Such questions kept spinning in my head. I feared for his rejection as I was one of the Koorime, the tribe that abandoned him from the peak of the ravine to the cold wintry stream just after his birth.  
  
The ice demon feared for something that hadn't occurred. They took my brother as a dangerous species for them. I couldn't believe it. How could my mother fell in love with father then? If father did a menacing for my mother's life, my brother and I wouldn't have given birth then.  
  
We almost carried the unforgivable sin for centuries for killing an innocent baby. My mother couldn't take her sadness and she was die. I didn't know the truth whether she committed a suicide by her own will or by force law.  
  
I lost two important persons in my childhood for something that caused by disprovable fear. And one person was lost from my side too for something foolish like war between tribes. Father and Mother couldn't be united just because of their difference and their status as demons.  
  
Fire and ice couldn't be one. They opposed each other. Who made that statement? Even light and dark could live side on side. I saw the miracle in Ningenkai. The day was ruled by light and then night took over, spreading the darkness. At night the diamonds and the moon became a light beyond the endless darkness. They sparkled and lighted in the dark. The black sky gave the place for the light of the queen of night. They didn't fight each other for their existence. So, why should we fight for something as like an unreasonable fear?  
  
After I took half of my childhood period, missing my only brother without any information of him, I left the ice land with one attention. The ice land was doomed long time ago and many of us had died. Luckily my aunt was able to survive, but it could be a possible for us to extinct.  
  
She asked me to say sorry for her sin to my brother. She was the one who exiled my brother away halfheartedly from his birth land under the command of elders. I knew my brother would forgive her. She only followed the order.  
  
My heart had long torn for losing hope on foraging my sibling. But my lust kept me to be persistent. I knew that he had a pair of ruby eyes like mine. But I still couldn't find him on three worlds. I lost the track and information about him. Only our heart and our bloodline became the link between us. I knew that we would meet somewhere, sometime. I knew he was somewhere, alive. I just had to believe. And I met him in a human prison.  
  
A greedy human caught me. As a member of Reikai Tantei, he came to save me. I didn't find him and he came to me. I was very glad for his loyal.  
  
He didn't hate me. He looked for me. He remembered me. He was kind to me.  
  
I didn't hope that much and he gave more than I believed. I knew his hard way to survive. But he was a lot too nice for a Forbidden Child. He was too nice.as my brother.  
  
As usual, we met on the party, doing nothing but chatting. We, the girls were talking about any gossip and any accident on our life, while the boys were playing the games. Kazuma-kun and Yusuke-kun played it long enough and fought each other for joking. Genkai-sama just watched them impassively. I knew that the boys hated to play with Genkai-sama, as she always won over them.  
  
Kurama-kun watched them gleefully when Hiei onii-san perched on his private windowsill. I wondered if he felt the gentle touch of breeze. He looked outside the window firmly, holding his katana by his embrace. He was too hard on him self as an effect of his childhood. I knew that he wasn't used to this affinity of friendship. But he cornered him self too far, out of our life.  
  
And I am afraid of the distance. I'm afraid I can't achieve him as he was too far for me. Thus, I brought myself closer to him and talked anything, even the trivial thing for him.  
  
He never bored of me, with the conversation about the weather. He listened every word of mine that slipped from my lips. Once I thought that he didn't listen my sentence, he would broke the silence with a trivial answer.  
  
His composure made me worried. Surely he would get a companion hardly. I knew his loyalty, but he was too cold to be opened. Gladly Kurama-kun never thought about the nature of my brother as a bad thing. Maybe it was because he knew the background, which built my sibling to behave like that.  
  
Sometimes he glanced on the fox spirit and me. I knew it even it was just happened for a second. I thought that he was watching us from far to shun any menacing danger.  
  
Before I knew the darkness had reign the blue sky. The full moon had appeared with glinting of diamond stars. Yusuke-kun was dragged by Keiko- chan to go home as Yusuke-kun didn't want to return before he won the game. I smiled at Yusuke-kun, who grumbled along the way.  
  
Kazuma-kun halfheartedly left the temple. Maybe he still wanted to spend his time with his fellow. He excused himself and blushed before he left. I wondered if he was okay. When he saw me, he blushed as red as Kurama-kun's rose petal.  
  
I stayed with Genkai-sama for today. I had to help cleaning the temple. I jolted a bit when I heard a sudden voice in this silence.  
  
" Need a help? "  
  
" Hiei-kun, you surprise me. " I relieved and continued my work. " Thank you, but I can do this. Shouldn't you go home now with Kurama-kun? " I asked.  
  
" He had some business for a while in the temple garden for the old hag. " He snorted. I smiled. It was not Hiei-kun nature to wait someone patiently. I offered him a stack of plates.  
  
" Then please bring this to the kitchen if you don't mind it, of course. " He was gone with a blink of eyes. I cleaned the table and the floor. Luckily, they didn't drink any wine this day.  
  
" Yukina? Don't you go home with Kuwabara? " Kurama-kun entered the living room.  
  
" No. I had to help Genkai-sama to clean this mess." I looked at him. He brought a bouquet of roses. Its petal color compared with his crimson hair. When I saw Kurama-kun, I remembered of my brother's ruby eyes.  
  
He looked around the room. " Hiei-kun is in the kitchen." I smiled meaningfully. He blushed. Then he left me in rush to kitchen to cover his embarrassing reaction.  
  
// Wow, Kurama-kun can blush too.He is cuter with red face. // I thought.  
  
After I was done, I was about to go to where Kurama-kun and Hiei-kun were. In front of the door I heard a soft noise. I opened the door carefully and flushed by the scene.  
  
" I'm sorry! I don't mean to bother! " I slammed the wooden kitchen door. I felt embarrassed for my interruption. * They were kissing *. I knew they fell in love each other, but I never saw their romantic moment. Hiei-kun usually avoided any embarrassing thing in public and refused Kurama-kun affection. I had to remember not to open the door when they were together alone.  
  
The door was opened. The lovers went out and met me. We blushed, except for Hiei-kun. This awkward silence made me confused what to do.  
  
" Sorry." And then a black blur went outside by window. My brother had left, leaving Kurama-kun and me.  
  
Finally Kurama-kun melted this situation. " I'm sorry, Yukina-san. I shouldn't do it on the first place." He mourned and smiled regretfully. I shook my head.  
  
" No, it's a good thing for him. I wish for his happiness for now. You don't have to mind me, Kurama-kun. I'm okay about that." I answered him. He seemed determined of something. Was there any mistake in my earlier sentence?  
  
" Yukina-san, impossible.do.do you know that he was your.? " He stuttered.  
  
I understood what he meant. " Yes, I know. He is my only family, my sibling and we share the same bloodline. How could I not recognize him? "  
  
He tilted his head. " So, you know about it. Then he doesn't have to worry. "  
  
I abruptly interrupted his idea. " Please don't tell him. I really want him to tell me when he is ready for it. Kurama-kun, onegai." I pleaded to him.  
  
He nodded weakly. I was so glad. Finally I could speak with someone about this. I felt some weight burden on my shoulder had lifted. I realized that the midnight had arrived.  
  
" Kurama-kun, shouldn't you go home now? " He curtly looked at the moon. It was on the middle of black sky. He sweat dropped and excused him self.  
  
" Thank you, Yukina-san! I'll go home now. " He bowed and left me behind. I watched his back gone within the darkness.  
  
I felt someone beside me. " Genkai-sama. " The old woman put her hands on her back. She was as short as me but she was stronger. She smiled back to me. I replied her. Thoughtfully I spoke to no one.  
  
* From now on, please be happy ..brother.*  
  
Tears of happiness welled on my eyes. I shook my tear from my face before they transformed to blue icy tear gems. I lifted my face and watched the moon blissfully. I prayed for his happiness and followed Genkai-sama to our slumbers.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Yay! It's done! I wanted to describe the peace moment for now. This fic would be a sad one. It doesn't mean it doesn't have a happy ending. I 'm happy ending lover. But I still have no idea for the ending. I wanted shorter chapter. I wonder why I couldn't extend the story to be better. Review please! Sorry for some bad grammar and vocabulary! 


	2. the eternal winter

Disclaimer: Bye bye.meet me on the chapter one.  
  
A/N: Sadly I admit that I get only one review on this fic. Thanks to  
Hasuko, who still review for me. Who cares!! Please read below, please,  
please!  
  
I just told by my sis that she found someone that wrote a review to  
other author cruelly. The reviewer says that the idea of story is bad  
and the writer has no ability. And that dishearten the author to  
continue his/her story. I hate to be reviewed like that. If you don't  
like the story just don't review. With the number amount of review that  
I get, I would know whether you like the story or not. But even someone  
hate my fics, I will keep it to the end for my own sake! Yay! But still  
a flame about my bad grammar is accepted. If you have time, please give  
me the correction.  
  
Now shouldn't mop around! Let's start the fic ^_^  
  
// bla bla bla // means speak silently  
  
(bla bla bla ) means author's note.  
  
By Irisgem  
  
The last snow had fallen. I watched them in amused through the misty window. As the tons of snowflakes fell from the gray dark sky, I remembered the ordeal of my childhood. Those worse days were the time when I mostly cursed my birth. The memories of rejection played like an endless string.  
  
My fiery eyes followed the moves of frozen snowflakes. It fell aimlessly, yet beautiful. Its pure innocence color made me felt in stained. It revealed the pure truth of heart while I was making sin. I usually spent my time on hating this cold dying season on the branch of pine tree of Makai. The cool that made me shivered through my veins reminds me of Ice Land.  
  
When I closed my eyes, the tears that fell to countless clear blue gems, snowstorm, the high ravine, Koorimes, white ground, especially the cold dying stream, those image made me felt betrayed. I lost my faith long enough to return and step on the ground of belief. It sounded impossible for me to care. Though I was a fire demon, my heart was made by ice of hatred and betrayal. He said that he could see the icy snow within my ruby eyes once, but there was no longer.  
  
I stopped disliking myself. I started to feel warm. I was no longer in the middle of confusion. I was myself, a complete fire demon. I changed because of him. I didn't dare to believe in love. I was forsaken by my own bloodline, how could other people love me? I closed any possible entry door to my shattered mirror of pain heart.  
  
So I became that impassive while every person was chatted in happiness. If I didn't talk, or relate directly with someone, then no one would hurt my feeling. But then no one put a glance on me, besides revenge or grudge on me. I couldn't love myself, thus the other people did the same. But not for him.  
  
I didn't know what he saw any special things in me. He only would say, ' You don't need a reason, my most beautiful creature. If I should make the list of your special features, then it would be as long as the river. ' I blinked with his words and he would look amused. Then I glared. He played one of his hoaxes again.  
  
I didn't know whether to believe or not. He was kind as one of his human nature, but half part of him was a cruel, famous beauty thief of Makai, Youko Kurama. What would happen if sometime he returned to his old self? For loving a Youko, there was a great risk of your fate.  
  
He said that love the only way to make you felt complete. He said it was the sincere blessing for God's creation. But then, when you felt in complete and you were betrayed, it meant you also cursed entirely.  
  
Your heart was too full that if it shattered, the whole of it would be in despair. You would experience the unbearable melancholy, more than the hollow heart would felt. The wound would remain forever, no matter how long time had passed by. As your heart filled, the scar would be deeper.  
  
And for believing the nature of half fox, I couldn't vow anything. I just wanted to believe, that was all I needed to do for now. He understood that I couldn't change within five years of joy. I was too groundless in belief that I learned as a cursed demon.  
  
I was no longer in the utter dark. I was still within the silhouette, trying to reach the color of pure snow, like my dear sibling sister. I met her last time two weeks ago on a reunion of Reikai Tantei.  
  
Watching the white paint reminded me of Shiori's face, that fox's mother. She grew paler and weaker as time elapsed bitterly. She said that she was fine with something unrevealed behind her. We both knew her lie. Her pale face as white as the moon became the proof of her illness.  
  
" Hiei."  
  
I turned my back and put my hand down that I used to support my head. I faced the sweet voice's owner. His delicate face was messed with confusion and emotion. Suddenly he squatted and burst into tears. I knew that he had bottled some grief within him for century for me. But what made him, the Greatest Formidable Thief, Youko Kurama to cry openly?  
  
I bowed a little and placed my hand on his shoulder. " What's wrong? " I tried to hide my concern tune, but still it could be able to hear.  
  
He seemed in quail to talk. So I guessed. " Is your mother alright? " He just went to hospital to check on her. He looked at me long enough as if we would not meet again. With a blink, he gripped my hand hardly. I was too frantic to see him like this, I moved backward for single step.  
  
" Listen." I didn't know why, his eyes were eerie. I wanted to run but he clutched me too tight. It would be a bad news. He didn't look at my eyes. He left me nothing to see, except for the ruby long hair.  
  
" This can't go anymore. "  
  
" I just realized that." His voice was strained with doubt in it.  
  
" I.We must over this affinity between us. "  
  
I stunned.  
  
I struck as if I was hit by seven worlds of Hell. I couldn't believe my ears. I hid my winced face by lowering my face. I couldn't resist the eyes of him.  
  
I knew that someday this would happen. Did I believe his words? Of course I didn't or did I? Just when I learned to believe, someone had betrayed me again.  
  
Again. And he was the one, who violated to me. With his sweet delicate words, he captured my feeling. When he was finished with me, he dumped me over like meaningless dust.  
  
Why did I care? It was the fate of Forbidden Child. The one, who was wrong, was myself. If I weren't given birth as a half-breed between Ice and Fire Demon, I wouldn't fell in this disgusting joke. I might never fall in love to him. I.but still it was fate that put me on this position. Why me.?  
  
// If my dear sister is the one who is in my place, what will I do?//  
  
// Probably, I will try to alter the position with her. I don't want to watch her suffer. She isn't that strong, so.//  
  
// So a reason for me for being the one who carried this sin.because I would be strong enough to endure with a limit heart and pity. Then. //  
  
I was tired of this silence echo. If he put all of this to end, so be it. I was the dust, which flew aimlessly. No matter someone kicked or stepped on me, I would be resurrected again with my own power.  
  
I lifted my jaded head and smiled sadly. My last smile for him and was for him only. Wasn't it precious enough to be my keepsake for him? I held my tear back before it fell like a stream on my cheek. He looked confused as I almost never smiled, especially in time like this.  
  
" I should never believe. You become the one who lie to me. Yesterday you said to me about something with pure love on this Valentine day. Now you are saying this is the time for us for being apart. "  
  
" Hiei, I'm serious. "  
  
" Who said you are joking?! " My temper was raised with frustration. I had to go from this place, but I should make anything to be obvious. My eyes were flared that soon died by the cold snow winter that hit me. I was going to be in the eternal winter of my own thought when the ephemeral winter of reality was soon over.  
  
" I become a burden in your next love affair. There is nothing between us now. Isn't this what you have wished? " I laughed with a mock tune in it.  
  
" No, we still can be friends, Hi."  
  
" You're being arrogant. " I would not let him finished that sentences for my whole life. " You are the one who put this to the corner, why should I follow you all the time, PAL?! " I stressed the last word and my tear would soon flow.  
  
" I didn't mean to be arrogant, I just."  
  
" Choose, Kurama. And never mourned for your path. You have chosen someone besides me then I should leave. You can't obsess two things in one time. Now I have the same feeling to 'that big oaf ' for you. There is nothing called friendship, besides for formality. Sayonara. "  
  
I opened his window that covered by thick cool mist. Without turning back I leaped from the big white tree in front of his room to trees on the street. I could hear his loud voice, calling my name. But soon the fallen snow swallowed his vague word from far.  
  
I almost slipped three times on wet branches.  
  
I would never see him anymore.his fond embrace.nor his happy smile. His simple joke was no longer amused, they all felt bitter. He was now out of my life and vice versa.  
  
// But why my chest still remained hurt mercilessly? //  
  
I went out to the outskirt of human town. I felt weak as I held the tree to support my body. I was too depressed and this abominable weather made everything so complicated for me. I took a long breath to take the tranquility of cold wind to my empty lungs.  
  
Standing there for hours in solitude without anything or people was quite helpful. No voice, no face, no feeling, no that baka fox, nothing besides me.  
  
// This kind of place was the real realm for Forbidden Child. A menacing serenity but still peace was the only place to rest. Without no one.//  
  
Without someone watched over me, the tears that I held with pain in my eyes soon were frozen and twinkled. A raven color pearl dripped and looked compared on the pure white clean ground. Then another pearls were formed endlessly.  
  
My long black hair that met my waist entangled in front of my moist face. I lifted my heavy head to return the drop of salty water to deep in my eyes, but I couldn't hold it still. With fallen snowflakes and emerald forest as the only witness, I dried my tears until there were no more.  
  
// I would never shed this shameful yet pretty gem anymore. //  
  
The vow that only myself who knew it, was echoed on my head. The white snow fell on my head and cooled my mind. Though I was half of Koorime, I still couldn't endure the chill. My ki that once flared soon died out to warm my freezing body.  
  
This coldness.empty solitary.made me thought of someone that was dear to me. If I should no longer watch over that silver fox then he made me easier to protect Yukina. I wended on the freezing wind when no one would like to walk on this foul weather. It that city, there was no one on the streets.  
  
My eyes were getting heavier and my head started to spin. I crossed one of my arms in front of my chest and held the other resting arm tightly to support my small body. I didn't care to die. So I closed my restless eyes and just let the darkness reigned over me, but still I could hear a sweet girl voice, as sweet as morning chirping birds. It was like Yukina's.  
  
Maybe it was just my imagination as the voice went out to the vague one.  
  
~~~~~~~~~  
  
A bit too long for a brief idea, isn't it? Is it boring? Please tell me, so I might be able change my way to make story better. Should I explain briefly or with the complicated one? Hehe.I'm sorry for not writing a really good story. Please Review!  
  
Next Chapter: Kurama's reason and his POV! 


	3. my reason

Disclaimer: Have I said this? I don't own anything! Why me? Sob sob..  
  
A/N: Hey thanks! Finally I get reviews more than chapter one! Thanks a loooot!! This chapter is here because of Curry, Hasuko, Me. ^^, Raine Jaganshi. This is especially for you! Enjoy! ( Actually I'm getting to hate my own writing. Kurama-kun is not like that! I really want to write fluff. Sob.sob )  
  
Curry : Thanks for your support!  
  
Hasuko: Thanks to read my compliment all time. Hehe..  
  
Me.^^ : Fluff..I would like to write one, but haven't got any idea yet. I'll try! Thanks for your idea! Well, I should finish one of my fics though to write another. Occasionally I write slower as there are too many fic. ^_^6 I like fluff, but I got writer block. Wahaha!  
  
Raine Jaganshi: Thanks! I love your review.  
  
Trina: Congratulation for YOU! You just win a jackpot! How could guess that easily? Am I making it too clear? Yeah, Kurama is a bit bitch, but please wait and you would read the sweet side of him, OK? Thanks for your console!  
  
By Irisgem  
  
* Your mother is just too depressed. She should take more relax and rest. *  
  
* I just hope you could be engaged with the daughter of your father's friend *  
  
I could feel the warmth of sun blaze. I hated morning now, especially without him. If I could I would like to run away from this kind of life that I was going through. I removed the soft blanket on me and my feet touched the cold floor of my room.  
  
But I wasn't in touch with the ground. I was flying of my mind somewhere else. The event of last night was rewind in my brain vividly. I lost him. As well I betrayed him. I chose my mother over him. I knew that there would be a risk that he would hate me and couldn't forgive me. He might never return to me. And that was what kept me in pain.  
  
There was long silence in this house. Everything would be seemed in eternal for me. There was only me. If I could choose, I didn't want to wake up. I buried my angelic face inside my hand.  
  
I would like to meet you.  
  
Walking slowly with one destination, I expelled myself from society. I didn't know what to regret, so I didn't know what to be healed. I just went past the swarm of girls without single glance. I had enough of this torturing mind to keep.  
  
How shameful..I disgraced the name of Youko. I obeyed the will of a human woman over love I had. I was tied with unbreakable chain with this world. I lost my freedom since I chose to devote myself to Shiori. There were no devotion in Youko's life.  
  
The lessons were just as boring as usual. Without putting any attention, I still could have a perfect mark. I was just thinking about human life. Were we just seeking illusion of well name? Were we killing our self with the same routine all days? For a person like me, we were just spending time without any fun. So what was the difference of us with the living corpses?  
  
Watching the bright blue sky made me miss the freedom that once I had. But I sacrificed it for my love. My bottomless love for Shiori.  
  
* Then how is my love for him? Do I love my mother more than him? If it's true then I really have betrayed him. *  
  
I knew that I was so selfish. I broke the bond of us and still I wanted more. How could we be friends when one of us broke the commitment between us? And the unpredictable thing was that I was the one who broke it.  
  
* Hiei, please forgive me. If I should exchange your hatred and pain, I would give my life. *  
  
Suddenly I could see a flying blur at the corner of my eyes. It was so ephemeral that wasn't last a second. I could only think of one thing.  
  
" Sensei! May I go to the clinic? I suddenly feel ill. " I tried to act. I hoped he would believe. He stared at me with sympathy.  
  
" Of course you could. Go ahead. "  
  
Maybe I could be an actor..  
  
The corridor was empty. Every body was still in class. Well, maybe an exception for me. I tried to chase the shadow, which ran to the empty space. It was behind the school.  
  
Finally, I could see him. He stood with a solemn face under the tree. Lifting up his head, he watched the falling leaves and cherry blossoms. Somehow the peace sight seemed too far for me.  
  
" Why do you leave your class? " he turned his face. I was scared before looking at him. I stunned. There was nothing on his face. Usually I could read him like an open book. He worn the coldest mask that I had ever seen. He was a fire demon, but his heart was made of an ice.  
  
" I think it would important since you come directly to my school. You usually avoided ningen's society. " I tried to pick up some topic. But it was useless.  
  
" Koenma is calling." Then he turned away without any feeling. I didn't like this. " Why don't you just tell me that you hate me, that you would like to kill me?! Why are you holding everything?! Just accused me! I'm the one that betray your faith! "  
  
He gave me a boring look. " Are you insane? You don't do anything to me. " I got confused. I didn't do anything?!  
  
" I'm no longer the one you know. The old Hiei is died. I was rebirth. There is no longer past, Kurama. " His dull ruby eyes made me afraid.  
  
He flitted on the branches like a shadow leaving the light. My tears welled in my eyes when I didn't know why it hurt so much.  
  
" Shuiichi? "  
  
I lifted my head to see her pale face. " Yes? "  
  
" I wonder if I could ever get home again.." She questioned herself with me as her witness. I held her cold hands. " Of course, mother. What are you talking about? "  
  
" I would like to watch your happiness, Shuiichi.."  
  
I smiled in agony. Was I allowed to be happy while I was hurting some one that was very dear to me?  
  
" Maybe I don't deserve for it, mother. Maybe."  
  
" You would be happy with the daughter of your father's friend. She is very pretty, polite and smart. What do you think? "  
  
I hated when my mother took the rules of my lover. But her health was the priority for now.  
  
" Maybe. You must think about your own health. If you wish, I will try to meet her. " I tried to give some consolation for her. She shouldn't worry too much. I watched the clock on her private room.  
  
" It's time to go home, mother. I would come again tomorrow. "  
  
When I stood up, she held my jacket, preventing me to go. " Shuiichi, I..."  
  
" Yes? "  
  
She seemed in doubt to tell me something. I would prefer to her to talk to me directly. I just would like to stop on thinking.  
  
She soon loosened her grip and lied uncomfortably. " Nothing...just nothing. " She lied like a doll that soon broke. She closed her tired eyes.  
  
" You don't have to worry things too much, mother. " I kissed her forehead and shoved away the tangled raven hair on her face.  
  
I closed the door in front of her face. I shouldn't make her worry. She might die if she was in distressed. Her illness would worse and ate her slowly.  
  
But then, should I sacrifice Hiei's happiness on my mother's life?  
  
I shuddered when I remembered the way of his cold look. There was no longer warmth in it. His eyes were looked like in the eternal winter.  
  
Was I the one who made him to be like that? He was looked like the merciless ice maiden from the Ice Land. He still inherited the blood of Koorime anyway. But the eyes...were so blunt and evil, so murderous. He was looked even more in evil than Youko Kurama.  
  
Was I just making a big mistake?  
  
Short? Yes, it is. I'm tired. I hate this fic even more. UGGHHH!! Fuh. Sorry for Kurama's fans. He seems like a bitch here. But I would try to make him sweeter later. Just wait and REVIEW PLEASE! ^_^ 


	4. Beginning of Journey

Disclaimer: No idea why I should write this most time?  
  
A/N: Lately I was flooded with mountain of school task. And I got bad marks again today. .AAHHHHHH!! I'm going insane. The computer also hates me since I couldn't access the Internet! So I'm sorry for all readers for waiting. (If you're waiting, haha.) Since when do I get this pessimism? Haha...please bear with me in this fic. Thanks to all reviewers that keep support me as:  
  
Hasuko: Sorry for not updating soon. As usual I write Yaoi, and my sisters were anti-yaoi. I couldn't accuse them either. I have little time to write it then since they also dominate the computer. Thank you. But I never wish for H and K to break up either just to remind you. Hehe^-^  
  
Raine Jaganshi: Your review always short but I liked it very much! Thanks!  
  
Curry: Hehe..thanks! You always read my grumble and bubbling. I am thinking another better angle of story. Hopefully you like it!  
  
I gladly thanks for three of you who always give me support to finish this story often. Bye! Saa, shall we go now?  
  
By Irisgem.  
  
The silent snows fell again and rub my ivory cheek gently. The blowing breeze passed my cold heart and mind. I brought myself back to the white pure world where serenity carried upon me. Watching the rustling sea of forest, I leaped over the slippery branches.  
  
I liked the nature of solitude since I didn't have to worry anything or someone. Someone..Then I could feel a warm droplet welled in my eyes. I tried to hold by gritting my lower lip hard. His crimson hair always played in my mind. Quietly he still remained in me and that would last entirely forever. How could a destiny get playing with my life role?  
  
I returned where my last place belonged. My pretty sister was staying with an old priest also good fighter in a temple. I looked at the enormous temple with amusement. A strong kekkai ( kind of shield made by some ki ) surrounded it and protected it from stray youkai.  
  
I rested my feet on the highest pine tree. Yukina was raising her hand and without waiting longer, the birds came down to perched on her hand and shoulders. Her peaceful life made me able to counter anything. For her happiness, I could anything.  
  
I once had another person that I would like to protect but no longer. I should let him go and do as he pleased. I had no rights to keep him. Actually he wasn't mine. Since I was no longer the same person, then he also didn't belong to me. Though he was the reason for me to change, but it also my fault since I was the one who decided to alter myself.  
  
I stared at the cerulean wide sky. Somehow I had a bad feeling about the next mission that Koenma was going about to give the appointment to Reikai Tantei. I would prefer working alone if I should end up meeting that Youko. His fame name and beauty was really not for nothing. I became one of his victims that he got me already.  
  
I couldn't believe that such a Forbidden child ended up on opening his heart and allowed himself to feel. I felt ashamed for this but also the merciless dark night never passed without the throbbing pain inside my chest.  
  
I watched for my sister and the animals that came to protect her with their weak feathery wings. They must be knowing that they didn't posses such a power to protect her, but still....Why did they flutter their wings upon her with such a sacrifice? It would mean a sentence to death but why did they still choose to be at her side?  
  
I shook my head. I answered such a question for myself. Didn't I know the reason? Of course it was because I could feel. We could feel that we allowed ourselves to be the exchange for the one that we would like to protect happiness. Because we wanted to see their smile even in the immortal and nastiest world.  
  
Since when I got my head bumped with something weak and vague things? It was his fault but also my mistakes. No one could be blamed besides me. Yes, The Forbidden Child always became a scapegoat for someone.  
  
Koorime blamed me for something that even couldn't be proved that would happen. They were fear with my possessing power. I couldn't accuse them either as they were just trying to survive with their soon extinction clan. That was why my revenge, hatred, betrayal, agony toward them vanished by time.  
  
Time passed easily like thousands golden sands on fate's hand. They flew gently as someone knew the time would not return. Still no one knew what future might come. We had no choice but played like a mad war on the chess field.  
  
But what all I could thank was that I would not be here if I didn't pass my past. I would not be the black dragon master; I would never be strong to protect my sister. But there was something that bothered my mind. I never knew whether I should thank or regret it. It was for meeting him, the graceful but wicked Youko.  
  
If there weren't him, I would never feel. But then I also didn't want this feeling anymore since I couldn't feel anything more beside pain and agony. All I could know was the place where I was sentenced to remain forever was the eternal snow winter field. Wishing not to wake up, I also wandered, searching for warmth.  
  
I encountered my sister by landing perfectly in front of her. Her ruby soft eyes those were as red as mine glinting with joy. She left her secret fans behind to greet her sibling. I didn't know how the literature of destiny was written on such a paper that I was the one that became her sibling. We were so different yet similar. But somehow we were so far for her not recognizing me as her brother that long gone.  
  
I wondered what she might be if she had the same ordeal like mine. But surely I would not let it happened since she was now the most precious thing I held in this life. I vowed to give my rest life span to protect her. Maybe it wouldn't me who could protect her smile but I'll try to make a better life for her.  
  
That might also the reason for me for not killing that oaf that kept roaming around her. He was so foolish and weak, but his determination was also something I could respect from him.  
  
" You're coming, Hiei-san. Don't you have a meeting with Koenma-sama? " Her sincere smile could appeal anyone. No wonder...  
  
" Yes. How could you know? " I stared her, hiding my emotion behind my empty mask.  
  
" Kazuma-san went just now with Botan-san. I wonder why did he grumbling? " She rested her palm on her cherry cheek.  
  
Sometimes she was not sensitive severely than me. Wasn't it obvious with his way of attitude in front of her? // I knew that someday he might become your prince that made me felt jealous. I just didn't want you to be taken. But it might mean your sorrow that I spared his life. //  
  
" Is that so? Then I shouldn't delay for more. Good-bye. "  
  
Then she held my raven cloak that made me unable to move. " Yukina? " I asked her gently. She seemed snapped her mind out suddenly. She took her hand back and placed it in front of her chest.  
  
Flushing deeply, she lowered her gaze. "Umm...I'm sorry. I don't mean but my hand suddenly...."  
  
I smiled little with a quick hide. But it seemed that she saw it. "You don't have to mind it. Please take care. " Then I leaped to the tree and ran fast to Reikai.  
  
I closed my eyes angrily. They were informed and ran here before I did, but still hadn't caught up until now. I hated waiting since it was a boring thing to do. I watched the prince of hell. Something had bothered his mind clearly. His expression was like am open book.  
  
" I hate to wait. Inform me right away the mission is. " I glared menacingly as I narrowed my ruby eyes on him. He only exhaled and looked at the document. " Couldn't you wait for others? "  
  
" No, since there is a possibility that they would arrive here tomorrow. " I smirked toward him and his foolish worker.  
  
" Not funny, Hiei. Your self couldn't do this task. "  
  
" Oh, I wonder what kind of task that you doubted my ability to do it. " I glared deadly at him. He shuddered a bit and moved his muscles a bit. Still he remained quiet due to his fear of painful death.  
  
" Actually I don't want you to do this but this is a big matter. "  
  
" Hn. You always say that no matter how easy the enemy is. "  
  
" No, this is different. This would influence the three worlds. Failure is not an option. "  
  
I remained silent, as the atmosphere was getting tense. He looked even worried in every passed second. Suddenly he commanded all of his assistants in his workroom to get out. Finally he decided to talk since he sat straight and stared long. I looked at him bored.  
  
" Hiei, when one of you should die, who would you choose? "  
  
Joking harshly I laughed wickedly. " Who else? How about that big oaf? " His solemn face was hard that I became to know that this wasn't a simple thing like that. He was very rare to be deadly serious like that.  
  
" What are you talking about, stupid Koenma? " My expression was harder that matched to him. He closed his eyes and turned his chair back in front me. " Nothing. I just don't want any sacrifice but..."  
  
" Do you mean you have to endanger someone life for this? "  
  
A long wait for his answer drove me insane. Why did he need such long time just to answer? It was easy, right? You just needed to say yes or no.  
  
" Yes. "  
  
My crimson orbs widen completely. Was this mission getting harder like the event of invading of Netherworld? But everyone was saved for succeeding on sealing Netherworld once again. My brow furrowed questioningly.  
  
I cared for some solitude for this time that he freely gave me. I went to the corner of the room and stayed quiet. I thought I relapsed to my bad habit to seal my self in darkness. I folded my arms and watched the endless road of death.  
  
My heart was hollow and my eyes went dull. Everything seemed normal when we even didn't aware for such disaster? Life and death came intertwined each other on a wheel that kept spinning. I still loved this life yet hated it. It was just me who countered the vague future. My decision was set also with my mind.  
  
I walked toward the prince's desk that was full with pile of document. He shunned the contact of eyes with me. I lifted his face and got near.  
  
" What kind of sacrifice do you have to do? " I stared easily. He gazed at the flickering flame inside my ruby eyes.  
  
" If you couldn't finish the task on time, probably we have to sacrifice someone with powerful energy. "  
  
" Why couldn't you just pick someone and sacrifice them? " I glared at his foolish statement.  
  
" We couldn't choose. Actually that thing is the one that chooses its master. "  
  
" Thing? "  
  
" Crystal of Balance that made by holy spirit."  
  
" Then how could you know that the one that should die is one of us? "  
  
" I don't know. It is also one part of your mission. "  
  
I startled with the lack of information. The workers here were too dumb to work properly. I was doubt whether they had mind or not. I sat on the chair in front of his desk, staring the view of outside once again.  
  
" Do you like the view?"  
  
" Hn." I snorted and waited for them to come. Probably this mission would be a pain for someone. Somehow I half prayed that the crystal would choose me since no one would care about me. I was the only one who had no one in this world to love me. How unfair the life was. I could love but couldn't be loved. Maybe I really should never opened my heart.  
  
Probably Yukina would also hate me if she knew the truth but perhaps she would remain innocent about her brother. She would never know. That was the promise I once made for finding her. I didn't know that hiding the truth was the most pain to do that I promised for it easily. I would never break my promise. That was the loyalty and pride of a warrior.  
  
"Koenma, I don't allow you at least to talk about that sacrificial ritual in front of them. "  
  
" Huh? Then they would never know their reason on finding the chosen one. "  
  
I replied him with wild sharp look. " If you tell them, then probably they won't do this. "  
  
He was deep in thought before he answered me back. " Yeah, you probably right this time. " I stayed quiet and glared. " What do you mean ' this time '? "  
  
Then suddenly I heard a shriek sound when the grand door was opened and four guests were coming inside. I didn't bother myself to see them or greet them. I could feel a strong gaze on me that watched for me. I pretended not to see since it would only hurt me.  
  
" What's wrong, Koenma? I have some promise with Keiko to accompany her to shop. I don't want to be slapped by her. " Yusuke looked annoyed. Kuwabara was talking with Botan about Yukina when his mind also wandered back to temple. I really wanted to hit him, watching him like this.  
  
" What is the problem, Koenma-sama? " The silver fox moved forward to see the information clearly. He was reading the document when Koenma explained our mission in short speech.  
  
" The limit time has come since hundreds of years. The power that keeps the balance of three worlds reaches its limit. On the same time, some band of youkai found it. If they yield the power for their advantage, it would be a disaster for three worlds."  
  
" Huh? I don't get it? " A big question mark appeared on that orange head. I snorted and complaint. " Baka. Your stupidity remains forever in your head, ne? " I smirked savagely that provoked him enough. I glared at him with colder eyes. I didn't know how could I relapse into the sullen demon again. All I knew that thief fox demon had softened my heart that he also killed it into nothing.  
  
Kuwabara shuddered a bit and stepped backwards. I was nothing more than a killing machine in front of people beside my sister. I really had enough about the bullshit about love and affection. I wouldn't be tricked any more especially to that fox. I was really bored of his hoax already.  
  
Koenma coughed once while Botan was going at his side. She hid her oar magically and paid attention through the meeting. We stopped our glaring wars and sulked.  
  
" So this item is Crystal of Balance. It is in Makai and big enough to fit a human. It saved a soul in it to supply its power. There is a band of A- class youkai that chased for its marvelous power, but it shouldn't be used. If you retrieve its power to zero, the world would fall. "  
  
" Do you mean the balance is ruined completely? " The Youko predicted the situation like usual. He was sincerely smart and cunning. I once fell for his kindness as human that I thought he was changing but I was actually cheated from the start.  
  
" Yes. And it means Makai would lost its nature power and razed to the ground. When Makai fell, Ningenkai and Reikai would also fell. Ningenkai would turn into Makai and Reikai would turn into Ningenkai. "  
  
" How was about back then in past? "  
  
Koenma looked at me secretly as I shook my head little for not taking attention from them. He lifted his head and spoke quietly.  
  
" In the past, the supply had never run out. But if the power is used, the entire world would be..." Botan gasped for such a bad news. We knew how heavy this mission would be. Finding the chosen one, stopping the bad guys, protecting the crystal, I couldn't believe this.  
  
Yusuke looked so lively that he was full of spirit. I wondered how he would act if he was the chosen one. Probably he would give himself to protect the other. He always acted like that. Sometimes he was so interesting for his nature.  
  
" So what are you waiting for?! We should do this fast before I get hit by Keiko. " He thrust his fist to the this air with spirit. That fool also did his usual habit to praise his own self. Kurama tried to reach out for me to talk but he always stopped in the middle way with a twinkling doubt in his eyes.  
  
I didn't even take a glance on him. I turned my back and lost with black blur from the view. I was better waiting for them in front of Makai's portal to let myself alone. I could hear the soft whisper of my name from his breath when I went out of the room, but I didn't care anymore.  
  
I didn't want to care anymore.  
  
I leaped from tree to tree under the blessed golden moon. I was like a black spot beyond the perfect beauty of shimmering moonlight. The stars twinkled to seal the wide darkness away. Unwanted darkness, unforgivable sin...it was so match with me. When I was with that crimson head, I thought I could be something in this world.  
  
// It was before I knew the truth that I was just a mere toy.//  
  
I lost my faith and taken back to darkness, even fell to the deepest one, to the never-ending cascade of pain. I roamed like a shadow within the mist that should be concealed. I had nowhere to go or return. That was why I had myself in the only my winter world. The only place that was belonged to me was where the eternity existed.  
  
Somehow I could feel a call from faraway land. Awkward yet gentle liked a breeze. I went down to the ground of forest to find the current site of Makai's portal. The voice was through the dimension and echoed loudly inside my ears. I walked slowly toward it, searching for the owner until I could feel a tap on my shoulder.  
  
" What's wrong, Hiei? " Yusuke looked questioningly. I gazed at him for a while before I tried to find that voice again. I was startled with that strange voice that made me lost control. I glared at them.  
  
" Do you hear that voice? "  
  
" What? " Three of them just stared curiously and remained quiet to listen any possible audible sound. They shrugged to each other and blinked at me.  
  
" Is it just the trick that my ears play or what? " I tried to scan any possible presence. I curtly lifted my head since I could feel a power from above. Then the jovial ferry girl went down with her oar. She laughed happily and chatted with Koenma. She was really annoyed me since she made me unable to scan the direction of that voice.  
  
The voice kept ringing vaguely inside my head that wouldn't go away. I was in anger already to listen such a noisy sound. I shouted in frustration. " Would you please shut up?! "  
  
Botan closed her mouth suddenly when the other watched for my sudden attitude. I huffed a bit as the voice was fading away then felt guilty for screaming on Botan for something that wasn't wrong. Since when did I have this feeling? That Youko really ruined my life entirely.  
  
" Sorry. " I whispered quietly. Botan smiled little, as she understood. " Do you really not hear that voice? "  
  
" What are you talking about, you shrimp? You kept saying strange things. There is no one beside us. Of course there is no voice! " He retorted. Luckily I wasn't in mood of fighting that I let him mocked me this time. I should remember to cut his tongue when I was in good situation.  
  
" Are you alright? " Kurama was masking again with something called kindness. I didn't wait long to resist against his touch. I shunned him easily like gentle breeze that he looked hurt. I didn't know whether it was just a lie or not. My heart ached to think it was just a fake.  
  
" Hn. " I jumped across the portal that I soon arrived in the dark gray sky of Makai. The voice still whispered gently but almost inaudible that I tried to keep my dignity. I thought I had another thing to take care of beside the mission. Finding the source of this sound and I would go on my routine life as a Reikai Tantei and cold murder.  
  
I wondered why humans always bothered on building up such a camp. I reposed on the trunk of a big tree. I stayed alert since there was a fox, which had the power of plants nearby. I should anticipate something before he yielded his power for his playing tricks.  
  
They slept around the fire camp. I was watching the flickering flame and admiring the beauty of its heat and color when Kurama spoke gently for not waking up the remaining Tantei. He didn't bother to turn his face on me. He probably knew that I would avoid his gaze also. Then he shouldn't do any vain attempt.  
  
" Haven't slept? "  
  
I didn't speak anything. I just didn't want to talk anything more with him. Maybe I was so childish....  
  
" I'm sorry, Hiei. You're right. I am so selfish yet arrogant. I'm really sorry. ..." I heard him secretly and wondered his aim on saying such thing.  
  
" What do you want for saying that to me? " I replied coldly. He stayed in serenity for a while.  
  
" Nothing. I just want to say sorry for hurting you. I wish you could forgive me, but I have no right to receive it. I also couldn't forgive myself. Since this is my own fault, I should through this by myself. "  
  
Then I saw his smile again toward me. Something inside me was tickling with joy but also felt hollow? Why he asked for forgiveness now? Weren't we finished, as he didn't have any feeling for me anymore? Why should you ask forgiveness? Was everything could be solved that easily? By a simple word of sorry.  
  
" Good night. " He turned his sleeping bag to face the fire camp and fell into his dream world. I stared at him without moving my attention. It had been a while since I last saw him this long. I probably still missed him but time would never return, the shattered mirror wouldn't be weaved like before.  
  
I tried to concentrate on him since the voice echoed louder. I really couldn't sleep if I had through this. I would find out the owner and killed him to death. I snarled quietly before closing my jaded eyes and waiting for golden rays on twilight with new day.  
  
I'm sleepy. My eyes only left with five volt. They were ready to close in front of my computer monitor. Hehehe...so I end it here for a while. Review please....and also good night....Zzzzzzzzzz 


	5. Face the Truth

Disclaimer: I forget, lalalala!  
  
A/N: It's been a long time not to write! So many task as the first semester test is coming. Hehe..I haven't forgotten about this fic! Hello all of my readers! I'm revived actually. I'm sorry for all people who are waiting. (if you're waiting actually ^^6)  
  
Special regard for:  
  
Lalalala Blah blah blah blah: You've such a cute name. I think you're an easygoing person. Maybe..but it's good if my guess is right! Thanks for your review. I'll try to update sooner. Ok?  
  
Sorceress Shingo: Oh, you also write KXH? Lately I have no time to check. I'll catch up when I have my holiday next week. It has been a long time since I read other people's fics. AND I WANT TO READ! Aaaaaaaannnnngggg! Sob sob! Please type soon. If you don't mind, please inform me by e-mail or what to let me know, OK?  
  
Gozilla: Thanks Gozilla-san for your review. I hope you don't trample me...hehe since you're so big. ( isn't Gozilla so big? ) Hey! I love your fic! Especially " Ryuusei no Solitude", something like that. Sorry, my brain is very low to remember name or number! But I think there is two fics with different title? Since I don't know which is the right one, I review both. Haha.  
  
I think this is all. Too much talking^^6. Let's move!  
  
By Irisgem  
  
The forest was so thick and dense. Half of my face was obscured by the silhouette of the dark forest. There was no warmth as the sign of cold- blooded world. Makai was always dark and moody. I didn't care. Despite of all, it was still my homeworld, where I was given damn birth. From far of the sight, I could see the floating ice country, where Koorime's race lived and started to distinguish.  
  
I slashed my katana aimlessly. The sparkling ruby droplets fell prettily, staining the dusty ground. Thousands of corpses had debilitated me more than enough. The gang of youkai should be able to detect about our presence later or now. We got closer every minute to the ruin, where the crystal saved. Koenma said that the ruin only appeared when the time of its energy reached its limit. If we couldn't make it, we would sacrifice someone that was chosen by the crystal.  
  
Actually I didn't really care who was the sacrificial lamb. As long I could guarantee my dear sister safety, I could anything for her. I would be the one that had the stained hand, became the Black Hand for her. She was so pure and gentle, like her mother.  
  
The moist air bothered me since the soil got wet and made me hard to move. I cast a fleeting glimpse on the other Reikai Tanteis. Yusuke was on fight again with the carrot head oaf. They made a bet of who killed the most. They were so childish but interesting. Then my eyes unconsciously met his emerald eyes. Youko Kurama, the deity of beauty.  
  
I abhored those eyes, but loved at the same time. His green orbs were reminiscence for me about Makai forest when I was forcefully bound with Ningenkai since the portal was closed. I could see the green sea of trees that was so familiar to me. At the same time I saw heart and feeling in them. Now I hated even more since there was betrayal in his eyes.  
  
I shunned my face to meet his and scanned the area. We still had to aware about foe since we were only two miles from the ruins. I couldn't use my ki like usual with something kept bothering me. The voice that started to ring from one month ago was even louder than last time.  
  
It came especially when the night had fallen and I took a rest on one of the pine trees. But lately the noise kept ringing even on the daylight. I almost couldn't control my temper since I was lacking of sleep.  
  
" Hiei....I..."  
  
" Don't talk to me. It's not the time yet. "  
  
" Oh..."  
  
His voice came down with his face hidden by the dark silhouette. I was almost frustrated since he kept pity gaze on me.  
  
" Where is Botan? She should be here now. " Yusuke started to grumble since he waited so long. It had been a whole week since we departed from Ningenkai. The mission went slowly since there were too many gangs of youkais that also foraged Crystal of Balance.  
  
Suddenly with a quick rush, Botan landed on Yusuke's head. He spouted with anger since he was hit from back. I was getting bored with the unexpected quarreling. I tilted to the tree and watched the Reikai Tantei from distance.  
  
" Ack! It's not the right time to fight! Yukina-san, she is gone! "  
  
Just a second after she mentioned Yukina's name, I rushed to the ferry girl and grabbed her kimono's collar. My face hardened and filled with anger, fear and anxious.  
  
" What happen to her?! "  
  
" Yeah! What's the matter to my beloved Yukina!? "  
  
The orange head was so exaggerated to find out about Yukina. If this weren't a crucial time, I would have for his neck. She took a step back and gulped hard. Her hands were crossed in front of her chest to protect her from any harm.  
  
" I'm sorry. Genkai and I were setting the kekkai around the temple three days ago. But when I tried to call Yukina-san, there was no answer. We tried to discover her around the temple but we failed. "  
  
" That's why I returned to Reikai and asked for Koenma-sama. He said that I would find her around the ruin. Then I ask Koenma-sama to inform you to wait for me and I come here."  
  
" Then there is no reason for us to stay in here. Let's find her. She may be in danger. " As usual kitsune gave the right reason to move forward. // It didn't mean I praised him!!// I shook my head. Why I keep thinking about him. We were over. He quelled our relation. Why I still..?  
  
I tried to convert my mind to Yukina, the ice maiden, who was also my sibling. I uncovered the ward on my forehead even though it might cause the other youkai to find us. I didn't care about anything else if it was related with my only last family.  
  
But when the Jagan glowed green prettily, the voice that had bothered this week lately came across my head. But the voice was getting clearer though I still didn't get it. The voice was so familiar. It was male but I couldn't recognize it. Suddenly I felt a tap on my shoulder.  
  
I saw his worried glanced that flashed green and golden. " Hiei? We have arrived. What are you thinking? "  
  
I shunned his touch and moved myself to the most tranquil place. In front of my view, there stood the great ruin. It was built like the ancient period. Due to Koenma's information, the ruin appeared mostly every five to ten century.  
  
My eyes widen to see the little girl in front of the historical building. There was Yukina. She walked slowly and her gaze was on faraway land. It seemed that someone had manipulated her. The big oaf ran faster toward her, shouting her name loudly without any manner.  
  
Yukina snapped from her world and watched her "visitor". She smiled genuinely and got confused about her presence at the enormous ruin.  
  
" What are you doing here? It's dangerous, Yukina-san. "  
  
" I'm sorry, Kurama-kun. But I have to come here."  
  
" Why? " I asked her with demanding answer.  
  
" Because I hear someone's call from here. Lately I could hear a vague soft voice. I don't know whether it is just my ear. "  
  
" Then you try to find out? " The blue girl asked gently.  
  
" Yes. I have to learn what's going on here because I know this voice perfectly. "  
  
" You know? " I was just thinking if she could hear the similar voice like mine. But it seemed different. It was impossible to hear the same thing when other people couldn't hear it.  
  
" It is like my...mother's...."  
  
" What?! " All of us said the same thing, surprised. We knew that her mother had been condemned to death. There was no possibility for her to interfere Yukina's life. She was startled and continued.  
  
" I know that it seems impossible, but it's true! I know how my mother's voice is! Don't' you believe me?! "  
  
" It's your mother voice? "  
  
" What's the matter, Hiei? "  
  
Kurama stared at me with queried. He waited for the direct answer. After a long pause, he gestured a bit and dropped the question. Then suddenly his cellar phone rang. He divided himself from us and answered the phone.  
  
" Mother? Natsuko? It's fine. I'll meet her whenever you wish but not now please. Yes. I would go home within a week. Yes. Take care, mom. "  
  
He sighed and returned to us. He didn't seem to listen to Yusuke and Kuwabara's humiliation about his soon-to-be-fiancée. He cast a glance on me, which I pretended not to see.  
  
" So who is your another victim? "  
  
" Huh? " He stared me sharply with a sudden anger.  
  
" After all, foxes are so treacherous. I won't surprise that you find another toy to play with. " I stretched my tiring hand and kneaded my arms. " Foxes are wayward. They are too free to be bound."  
  
// And I have exceeded the rules. I get too close then wounded. // "Hiei!!" He scolded with twinkle of anger that started to rise within him. I wended and looked back at his delicate face. It seemed that my words had exasperated him. It was so evident shown on his face. His dainty face went grimace. I would not let myself to show my excruciating pain on my face to his delight. I wouldn't lose to him anymore.  
  
In the end, love and affection were just a game to play, the atrocious and daft game of youkos.  
  
" The grandeur beauty of fox that could deceive anyone is so marvelous, isn't it? " I smirked evilly and dawdled.  
  
He glowered at me and lost his composure and dignity. " Why do you keep hurting me? Can't you condone me yet?! I know that I don't deserve to be forgiven, but at least could you not exacerbated this situation already?! You can only hurt someone, don't you? Just because you are raised as Forbidden Child, you could hurt anyone, as you never understand love? "  
  
He gasped back when I averted my eyes on the other side of forest. Somehow he felt guilty in his eyes. Sometimes his mouth could spit out the bestial words, couldn't he? Well, he was the cardiac master after all. He censured so strongly that hurt me inside. What kind of cherub was he that had no clemency within his heart and his statement?  
  
We ceased to talk and clammed up into the serenity silence. We both were hurt. The time that couldn't return cornered us to be like this. We couldn't be friends or foes. Then where should we step?  
  
Somehow when we entered the colossal ruin, it was felt friendly. Though the voice rang loudly by now, I could feel peace. Yusuke walked in front of Kuwabara, who was hugging Yukina consolingly. Actually I couldn't allow him to dab my sister, but it only hurt Yukina if I did so. The kitsune walked behind Kuwabara just to make sure that he didn't bother the lovebirds. I glared from far behind Kurama, watching my sister intently.  
  
Then the other scum of youkais appeared, aiming the same thing with us. Yusuke was too cocksure that he took care all of them by himself. Kuwabara also helped Yusuke just to be overacted in front of Yukina.  
  
We were soon surrounded by stray youkais. It meant the leader of their gangs might have gotten the crystal. It didn't take the leader of Reikai Tantei to finish them all. We kept running until Yukina stopped running suddenly.  
  
She panted hard and seemed distracted by something. All of the sudden, I could hear the voice and understand the news.  
  
// DON'T COME NEAR!! PLEASE! //  
  
There was someone that linked to us, the descendants of Koorime. But why? The other Reikai Tanteis stared at Yukina with curious look. Her eyes widen with surprised.  
  
" Mother? "  
  
I lifted my head abruptly. She got a link from mother? Then whose voice did I listen to? It was familiar, but I didn't know whose this was. Kurama noticed my sudden gesture as he walked toward me and queried.  
  
" Hiei? "  
  
I stared his emerald eyes. I was completely forgotten about my hatred for him. Something had upstaged me from my personal matter.  
  
" The voice....I know this voice but I don't know whose. It warns us not to move forward. "  
  
" Eh? Could it be the same voice that Yukina heard just now? "  
  
" No. It belongs to a man. "  
  
Yukina watched me with questioning look. " How could we hear the same thing with the different owner of the voices? "  
  
// It couldn't be. //  
  
" We couldn't obtain anything by staying here. We have to find out and complete the mission. " Yusuke said without any doubt in his command. We nodded simply when Yukina disapprove of our next movement.  
  
" Please! We shouldn't go deeper! My feeling isn't well...."  
  
" Don't worry, Yukina-san! Kazuma Kuwabara, the greatest powerful man would....."  
  
" Keep your babblings for later. " I glanced at him which he gave me back another glare.  
  
" Why you little runt!!!? "  
  
" Please, Kuwabara. We have to move faster. " As always Kurama put himself on someone's business. Someday he would be in big danger for his human nature.  
  
" Do you think you can go further? "  
  
" !!!!!! " We looked back to see the other stronger youkai walked along the way to us. His white hair glimmered with the weak light of thunder that streamed through the window. He wore a black cloak that tied by the white rope around his waist with brown shaggy shoes. Though he looked so old due to his face and white beard, his power seemed powerful.  
  
" You couldn't go further because you aren't the chosen. "  
  
The truth struck me. He knew the truth. Could he be the sacrifice? Yusuke and Kurama looked ready for a battle with muddled mind. Kuwabara blinked foolishly. Yukina was cringing to Kuwabara at his back.  
  
" Who are you? "  
  
" Me? I'm no one but his friend, the one that is inside the chamber. "  
  
" What are you aiming?! " Yusuke spouted with disbelieve. The leader of the gangs perhaps related with the crystal.  
  
" Why should you know? Answer the question with your power and your steel. "  
  
" Fine! I'll show you! " Kuwabara moved forward with confident fool. I sighed for his brain and his unknown about his limit.  
  
" Not you. I challenge the black boy behind. The Forbidden Child. "  
  
" What?! " Kuwabara looked irritated as if he was rejected and mocked for his lack of ability. My eyes widen, as he knew the identity of mine. This would be interesting. I might find something from him.  
  
" Let me. I don't need you to help. "  
  
" Hiei!! " Yusuke shouted with protest when Kurama tried to block his way.  
  
" He has his attention. We have to protect the crystal. "  
  
" How could we leave him here? He might lose. "  
  
" Please believe in him. Let's go. "  
  
I didn't look back to watch them run. The tap sounds went away with the passed seconds. I took an offensive form to commence the fight.  
  
" You're so similar with your father. But your blood is stained with the ice. How opposing but it is still a strong mix. "  
  
" What are you blabbering about? "  
  
" I have promised to someone that no one would enter this ruin that would only appear the crystal lost its source of power. Especially you and your pretty siblings.  
  
" How do you know? "  
  
" I have my reason. The only thing you should know is you would not go further, also your sister. She will be captive by my men. "  
  
" It won't happen if I kill you first. "  
  
" Oh, you would not. "  
  
Suddenly he went to a black blur shadow. His velocity was a breakneck. I almost couldn't catch a glimpse. He was so venerable sorceress beyond of his looking age.  
  
" You're still a callow. You wouldn't be able to defeat me. "  
  
Suddenly he came out from his hiding and forced a lightning on my shoulder. The pain was streaming down my body and made me squatted on the floor. He soon emerged with the silhouette and surrounded me again.  
  
" I have passed a thousand years waiting for this moment. To fight with you is quite boring but you will get stronger then. " He laughed with joy that I couldn't stand it.  
  
" Shut up. "  
  
The he made a form of fire sword like mine and thrust my back. " What?! "  
  
The crimson stream flew hopelessly. I winced a bit while I tried to hold the wound. It was a severe one. It would take a while before it started to heal. I cast a glance on my hand. It was completely stained with ruby liquids. He stepped forward. I tried to stand up slowly and leaned on the wall that soon painted all red.  
  
" Don't worry. I won't kill you. All I have to do is to stop you from that chamber. "  
  
" ....Why? "  
  
" Because I promise. "  
  
" KYAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! "  
  
Suddenly a shout rang clearly and echoed all the way. Ï jolted with surprised and panicked. It was Yukina's voice. She was probably in harm. What was that oaf doing On earth?!  
  
" Oh, my men have caught her. No worried. No harm we will do to her. Until the ruin was rumbled to the ground, you will set in deep sleep. "  
  
" Do you intent to make Makai fall?! "  
  
" I don't care about the world. The reason for me to have this long life span is to keep my promise to my best comrade. "  
  
" I don't understand. "  
  
" You don't have to think. Now go to sleep, little fire demon. "  
  
Before he could cast a sleep spell, I slashed his wand and broke it into two. He was so surprised and watched in anger.  
  
" What are you doing?! You little 3#$%^&%$#@*! I'm trying to spare your life! "  
  
" What are you talking about, old man? " I pointed my katana on his neck. There was no fear in his eyes.  
  
" Okay. This is harsh already. We should make it easy, right? " He sighed deeply.  
  
" ......." I kept my solemn face on his, waiting for an appropriate answer.  
  
" If you go to the chamber, the ice maiden will be sealed by the crystal for the three world's peace. Is that what you want? "  
  
My head went numb. The sacrifice for the crystal would be her. Why her?! Despite to all the women or demon, she was the chosen?!  
  
" Nope really. Actually there are two....Hey!! "  
  
My feet already sprinted to where my sister was. I should have protected her. Who cared about this world any way. I just needed to guarantee her safety. Why this couldn't be fulfilled?!  
  
It didn't take me a long time to find them. They were trying to obtain Yukina back from the enemy. The great loss of blood made my vision went blur. Yukina was sobbing with fear. I tried to save her when suddenly the great light came from Yukina and blinded the people.  
  
Suddenly we were in the chamber. The distortion of time had escorted us here. It was too late. Yukina would be a sacrifice for the three world, becoming the supported pillar of worlds balance.  
  
" I shouldn't let them to come here. That's what I promised. "  
  
We looked back and see the old sorceress walking slowly, gazing up to the ceiling. Kurama came toward me and tried to cease the blood stream, but I prevented him to do so. I would die for my damn-too-high-pride, but I didn't care.  
  
Yukina was so shocked about herself that she seemed completely out of her reality. Her gaze went dull and deaf to our call. She was distracted about the sudden power.  
  
" It seems every thing is out of the control. I couldn't hold the power of crystal after all. The truth you wish to know is in front of your very eyes. "  
  
I stared up to the sanctuary to see two crystals with a guardian in each of them. Yukina looked so surprised when I almost couldn't say anything. I grabbed Yukina's shoulders to bestow her strength, but it failed.  
  
" Mother?! "  
  
She ran along the stairs up to the altar. Kuwabara was so surprised to see the mother of Yukina.  
  
" She must be death....What kind of joke is this? " I spoke hesitantly with Kurama at my side, watching me with anxiety.  
  
" You hear the voice, don't you? "  
  
Yukina and I watched the old hag with tired look. He gave us a tedious look and continued.  
  
" Three centuries ago, your father sacrificed himself to protect his family from harm of the crystal. Your father tried to support the balance of three worlds by his own but failed. Soon after you are given birth, she was also sealed here to help your father. "  
  
" Do you mean...." Yusuke seemed determined.  
  
" He was Hiei and Yukina's father? " Kurama continued flattered.  
  
" WHAT?! IT CAN'T BE! YUKINA-SAN AND THAT SHRIMP ARE...."  
  
" Siblings. " The white head answered simply without any effort.  
  
" Please tell me that this is just a mere dream. " He sweat dropped with a hope that he would wake on his familiar bedroom right now.  
  
" I promised to Ryu, your father to avoid your way to here. But the crystal had reigned over everything that it could summon you here. "  
  
" I won't let Yukina to hand her life for the sake of three worlds. " I growled menacingly at him.  
  
" It's useless. Two guardians should support the crystal. Just when three worlds are created, the crystal always choose two people from different tribe and give them the eternal beauty and life until the chosen couldn't give anymore power. "  
  
" Your parents tried to stop you to get here but the link are bothered by the crystal. "  
  
Suddenly Yukina stepped forward to the crystal and touched it. It emitted the light, the same amount of light like before.  
  
" What's happen?! "  
  
" It's too late! Your mother couldn't support the crystal anymore! "  
  
Suddenly I could hear the different unfamiliar voice, calling for me. I also trailed Yukina but slapped by a strong hand.  
  
" Hiei! What's wrong with you?!"  
  
" Ouch, that's hurt. I'll revenge later, Kurama. "  
  
" No joke, please.." He chuckled a bit. I had missed his laugh. Though I hated him, in the end I couldn't really hate him.  
  
" Yukina? "  
  
She was emerging herself with the crystal. I ran along the stairs to stop her. Kuwabara, Yusuke and Kurama was following but suddenly they were thrown by a strong shield. I started to realize why there were two crystals.  
  
It meant I was also the chosen.....  
  
***************************************************  
  
Yay! Finish! It took me long time to finish this. I barely rested since I had to clean my house! Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!It's tiring. I'm in holiday so I may update more chapter. Sorry for my loooooong absence. I hope everyone will still review and give me support. Onegai?  
  
Oh, this fic is only about two chapters to go with an epilogue. And the ending is a cliffhanger. I would make the sequel with different title. Actually I didn't love this title anyway. Is there anyone that knows how to change the title? But I might confuse everyone by changing it. Ahhhhhhhh!!! What should I do?! 


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